Intertwined

the rain falls outside unabated
the guardian from unwanted intrusion
drowning sweet little whispers
of pure pleasure and muffled bliss
that manages to escape
from our lips that only part
to catch some air or dig somewhere

now as the music continues to waft
through the room, the only witness
to how our bodies defied its rhythm
refusing to acquiesce in the imposed decadence
exploring, searching in wild abandon
unrestrained, oblivious, nonchalant
freed in the newfound contours
that prefigured the inevitable union
of two souls that seemed to have spent eternity
waiting for that missing half
until that spell is broken
and the elixir erupts from its precious vessel
transporting us both into ineffable euphoria
and back to nothingness
as quickly as we found it.

then, it happened.

the stark reality of passion feigned
and love borrowed wrestled its way in.
did you even notice the invisible welling
of tears that signalled the end?
did you even hear the rain stopping
permitting my unencumbered exit?
did you even see how i planted
my feet on my every step
that took me farther away from you?
co'z you're not just about to give him up
not that i asked for it.
not even once, seahawk!

so, with that one last kiss
our desperate attempt to search
the answer to the mystery
of wanting to cling to something
we can never own,
i saw you flying
to the arms where you snugly belong
while i send myself forth
knowing that never again
shall our bodies be...
intertwined

My TL is gay and he has a boyfriend

Gabby (his phone name) is not your ordinary team lead.

His infectious zeal to succeed makes you believe this man would go places. He knows what he wants and will run heaven and earth to achieve it. Undaunted by the pressure of keeping his team "meet and exceed" expectations, which he knows sometimes invite unpopular reactions, he almost effortlessly steer us towards the realization to grow and succeed together.

A self-confessed OC, his keen eye for detail and order combined with his natural facility with words and intelligent judgment effectively concocted the right formula for his promotion a year ago. When the admin opened the Team Leader position for applicants in our account, and he handed his letter of intent to be one, guess who dared to jostle the post with him?

Nobody. I think I know why.

And hey, I have a revelation to make and he doesn't know I'm squealing it here.

He is gay.

Word has it that he's been giving lavish favors to one of our cute male officemates in exchange for that-which-must-not-be-named. To confirm further, I caught them in one clandestine corner of our office in a heavy, torrid tongue-wrestling bout.

Okay... Okay... That was all made-up. There was no such rumor and I never caught him kissing a guy in the office and perhaps, never will. To his credit, he is utterly wholesome and when in the office, he means business.

But I'm not taking back my word that he's gay. He is and proud of it!

Otherwise, he wouldn't wear his hair long. A weak point you said? Okay, here's a more potent one: He just announced to the entire blogging village that he's got a boyfriend. Saw them a couple of times already and boy, he's so handsome. And from the looks of it, they make love at every opportunity they get. His name is Sixto.


Yes! He is an "it," a Nikon D60 camera Gabby just bought at the recommendation and help of some of our officers. He makes sure that Sixto is with him from on-demand (read: unplanned) drinking sprees such as this...
to grand and full-scale account excursions such as this...





You see Gabby is not a jealous lover. He shares Sixto with everyone and when he invited me to be a guinea pig one afternoon, I came running and gladly posed.

So, now you read this post's hidden agenda? Hahaha... Let's keep it to ourselves so Gabby won't know.

Hey, you might wanna know more about him. Check him out at these places:

http://mygreenboi.blogspot.com/

http://greenniner.multiply.com/

http://profiles.friendster.com/3227735

A Mid-Year Resolution

I originally intended my posts to be as short as possible so I won't bore whoever happens to stumble here. But I think I need to make this first exemption (so, a lot more are coming huh?). Read on...

Before the year ends, I should have accomplished the following:

• P xx,xxx.00 + in a bank account
• a new business for my sister and parents
• a part-time job
• own that Sony Ericsson phone (grrr...) and not lose it!
• grab that laptop
• teach part-time in a university (I'm, well "was," a Math teacher)
• earn more units in my Masters
• gain weight (the hardest?)
• publish an article in a magazine/newspaper

This is my first time to do this - make a list of the things that would serve as a benchmark of how successful I am for the year. I am so overwhelmed at how the list goes but I am certain I can accomplish most, if not all, of them. I cannot dream small.

The past several years saw me as a laid-back and unambitious person. Gone was the burning desire to succeed and the passion that possessed me during those younger years. The welcome departure from the academe to this growing subculture of call center industry was indeed a reinvention but I never thought this would make my spirit to soar wane, and fearfully, die. Not that the environment itself broods mediocrity but I know something somewhere was lost and is eventually dying.

Is it because the people that abound outperforms me and there seems to be no hope for me to be recognized at all? Is it because I am devoid of inspiration these days and there's nobody who'd push me to my limits? Is it because I have finally come to terms with the things that I can and cannot do and is now letting the circumstances dictate where I should go next? I hope not!

Lost and confused are the perfect words that'd capture the state where I am right now. I have always believed I was destined for greater things but I am nowhere near that description these days.

I am a financial service rep in a call center who performs erratically with the goals that the account demands. An error-driver of some sort and whose AHT, when plotted in a Cartesian plane, would resemble the graph of a sine function.

I am a family-provider, though not in its strictest sense, who goes broke a couple of days before payday. I systematically send home part of my hard-earned cash to sustain my brother's education and allowance and to augment my parents' meager income as well. And since I fend for myself and wanders around with no financial control system in place, my wallet looks emaciated and dreadfully empty days before the ATM's spit out those cold cash again. By then, I'd be blocked mentally and forget, yet again, to save and proceed headlong into the myriad of "I'll-empty-your-pocket" delights in the malls, like somebody who has forgotten the lessons of history and is doomed to repeat it. Thanks I have a sister to turn to.

There's the rub. I'm out of control. It seems like something more powerful is in control of me. As if I have resigned myself to that force and is now completely under its whims. I think I need some overhaul, some repair or realignment. I need to be on the reins once again and take charge.

Which leads me back to why I wrote and made a point-by-point "should-have-accomplished" things for the year. I hate to call it a "wish list." Maybe it's because of the word "wish." I fear the distance it suggests. I'm thankful I finally got the courage to lift that pen (well, tap that keyboard) and write these goals. I have goals, yes, but I kept them in mind--which I have just shown to be a not-so-trustworthy recorder, what with the mental block and all. So I thought maybe I should try writing them down as suggested by writer Sean Covey. I believe there's something magical when you scribble your dreams (oh, how I hate to use the word!) down.

We'll see. I'll keep a constant watch at these goals. I'd keep a supplemental list of action plans to carry them out and I'll take it from there. I feel so small at the sight of these goals but I'll never be able to discover the breadth of my capabilities if I stay in my comfort zone. Immerse yourself, Noel! Jump to the danger zones, where the action and excitement lurk.

Postnote: Did I bore you? Sorry. Hehehe...

Getting Started

First heard of blogs 5 years ago. Was interested but never got to flex that muscle to start it. I had lots of fears... Will I get an audience? Or is it about getting an audience anyway? If not, why blog in the first place? Is my life blog-worthy enough? We'll see... Like anything else, I never will find it out unless I do it... So started my life... published